Sirius: MY IMMORTAL
by Diamonte-saber
Summary: Harry's summer at the Dursley's-continues straight on after the 5th book. the durleys are acting strange and Harry has no magical connections for a whole summer - will sirius memory drive him to the brink of insanity... Also includes Evanescence lyrics
1. Childish fears

Plot: starts as 5th book finishes, short series I promise!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter they belong to J.K.Rowling and I think now Warner Brothers, right? And I don't own the song lyrics or title of My Immortal that one belongs to the band Evanescence. (  
  
A/N: Okay! Now we've got that out of the way! ON with the fanfiction!  
  
Sirius: My Immortal  
  
I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears...  
  
Harry lay on his bed. He was bored out of his brains. There was nothing to do. There was never anything to do at Privet Drive but this summer was exceptional to all its predecessors.  
  
Everything about the place frustrated Harry to near insanity. There were no friends, no magic, no Dumbledore or Hagrid, and the Dursleys' were acting extremely weird. Harry had immediately accredited this to the warning Moody and Co had given them at the end of term. He had certainly expected a change but not one quite so dramatic or immediate.  
  
The Dursley's had remained silent the entire trip back from the station. There was none of the usual ranting from Uncle Vernon about exactly what he was not to do "under his roof". None of the disdainful looks cast back on him from Aunt Petunia in the front passenger seat and Dudley who was forced to share the back seat with him had pressed himself firmly and fearfully against the inside of the door, putting maximum space between himself and Harry. When they had arrived home the situation got no better.  
  
The Dursleys seemed on-edge and as they went about their business did not dare utter a word in his presence for fear of offending him and having a bunch of angry magical folk turn up on their doorstep. At first Harry thought he could use his new found influence on him to his advantage but whenever he talked to any one of them directly they immediately walked away as if they hadn't heard him. Uncle Vernon's favourite method of dismissing him was to pick up any random object and stare into it as though in a train of deep thought that could not be broken. This irritated Harry to no end when several times he caught Uncle Vernon closely studying a boiled egg as though he'd never seen one before. Even when he screamed at the top of his lungs, "LISTEN TO ME!!!" the only sign that Vernon was not in fact deaf was a twitch of his moustache as he stared more intently into the egg.  
  
Also the Dursley's appeared to have surrendered their house to him, knowing he was not permitted to leave they spent increasingly less and less time there. Early in the morning they discussed over breakfast where they would be for the day. 'I'll be off to visit Ethyl today' said Aunt Petunia,' Poor dear's sick in bed' then she went on to say more loudly and slowly, 'Anyone staying home today can find some leftover chops in the fridge for lunch and heat them up using the microwave'. Uncle Vernon was off to work as usual and Dudley had his regular gang to terrorize the neighborhood with. So Harry once more was left all alone. 


	2. Don't leave

And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave,  
  
'Cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone...  
  
Harry climbed the stairs to his room bitter and angry. He hated his own company nowadays, living in his solitary confinement gave his thoughts free reign. It hurt him to think to remember, to wonder. "Sirius what could I have done?" he often found himself saying out loud, the "If only's..." were endless and endlessly flooding his mind. He had hardly slept, and when he had he would awake shaking through sobs with the thought of Sirius trapped in a world without escape. Behind the mesh curtain Harry could make him out sometimes. His cool hair being tussled by a non-existent breeze...  
  
Harry didn't want to feel this way, he just felt so alone and so empty. He wanted, he needed to be hugged. To have someone hold him and tell him everything was going to be all right. That Sirius would come back and look after him, and they could live together and be happy forever and no one would even try to change that, EVER! He burst into tears again. But these weren't whimpering attention-seeking tears, these came straight from the heart, straight from his soul and they shook his body.  
  
He went through the first 2 weeks in a dazed, numb state. His body lived robot like while his mind wandered from one reality to the next, jumping in and out of awareness like a pool on a winter's day. Sometimes he wrote letters to Sirius in his mind, wishing that maybe he would find them somewhere, wherever he was.  
  
One day Harry put pen to paper and began to write:  
  
"Dear Sirius," the letter read.  
  
"Where are you? How can I get there?  
  
I need your help  
  
~Harry  
  
He removed Hedwig from her cage, she had not been let out once yet all summer long and she was not in a good mood. Harry didn't feel like being cheerful with her just for the sake of it, he was on a mission. He had to get this message to Sirius he just had to. He threw open the window and ordered Hedwig to deliver the message. She looked at him curiously and blinked twice, "C'mon Hedwig!" he said, "Go! What are you waiting for? Go!" He felt a choke in his throat slowly creeping up as he persisted, but she would not obey. "GO!" He screamed finally, and threw her out the window. She fell for a few seconds and Harry's heart skipped a beat he watched on fearfully. Hedwig who had apparently been caught off guard spread her wings and began to fly away. Harry relieved watched her fly off into the distance...he decided he would wait in a patient agony for Sirius's reply. 


End file.
